Is anger a mask for depression in men?
Have you ever been at that point where you are incredibly furious at a situation but you have no idea what to do? What about throwing things or yelling when you feel insulted by your partner? Anger and depression are deeply confused and intertwined for men, which becomes hard to separate.
Have you ever experienced any of these symptoms:
– Little interest or pleasure in doing activities?
– Exhausted and very little energy during the day or evening?
– Poor appetite, but sometimes you eat just because?
Possibly what you are experiencing is a mild form of depression. The challenge part for men is we are wired thinking, “Depression is a woman’s disease.” Well it is not! I have news for you, most men react in anger to the isolating and confusion feelings, where women have been know to show tears. Equally, men and women show depression differently but suffer the same ailment. Even more so, this can be related to fear and isolation of being alone.
Anger and depression are masked in many, many different way.
Most of us have felt some bout of anger at one time or another. Whether someone cuts us off in traffic or the daily frustration from the job or even daily interactions with our family, anger often sneaks up and consumes our emotions and physical being. In men, Anger and depression can go hand in hand. Men often mask their symptoms of depression by holding back emotions, but this doesn’t last too long. Give it some time, and the next thing you know, the lid is off and he is angry and seeing red! Why do men mask this depression or why does it manifest as anger? More importantly, do men even know if and when they are masking depression? Let’s take a look at three considerations:
– Men are not allowed to show emotions
– Men must be solid, stern individuals who appear to be well adjusted
– Men’s lives are not as equally restricted as women’s
All are false. Men often feel as if they are not allowed to show emotions, quite possibly because they do not know how or if they have ever tried, they have been shamed for what they feel. Often, men have such constricted confines placed on them, such as being the head of the house, bread winner, and are supposed to have ‘everything put together,’ that they often hide these fears, therefore manifesting as depression like or anger symptoms. Men often allow themselves to conform to societal constraints, forcing them to bottle up the anxieties of life, therefore masking as feeling horrible about one’s self or feeling as if he is a failure.
Maybe that anger actually looks like depression now?
It is important for men to seek out other men such as a therapist, to help support him in his transitions of discovering how much depression is actually running his life. Once we begin to identify the root of depression, we can begin to work with the external, dramatic release of anger.
Together we can explore what it means to allow other emotions in and learn how to accept and incorporate new experiences into our lives.
Is there anything in your life you are depressing?