Family Patterns that ignite fear and shame.
“It seems like just yesterday that we started a family to reflect our love for one another and our desires to build stronger community. Now, I cannot help but imagine my life without you!” If this statement rings true, then you are in the right place. Too often, I see families that do not know why they are together. Did you and your partner start a family with the dream of being better parents than they experienced in their home growing up? Or was there so much passion in dating that the next logical step seemed like marriage? Fortunate for your family, these misleading facts do not have to dictate how your family learns to connect and thrive together. Family therapy can help you.
What does a family look like anyway?
Did you have an image of what your family should look like prior to deciding to have a family? Families reflect who we are as an individual and who we are as a family. Were you told by your parents to have a family? Did your family every show you how to be a family or did the pattern evolve from? When the homeostasis is off in the family, it can seem like the whole world is crashing down around us. In family therapy, we identify these patterns and help the whole family determine the life they want to life.
Why is it so hard to communicate with anyone in this family?
Oftentimes what happens is the couple becomes comfortable and complacent in their desires to have a family. Think of the last time you actually sat down at the dinner table and had a meaningful conversation with your family. Were you able to express to your family how much support you receive from them? Did you have the confidence to express your love to the family? When each member is allowed to speak his or her mind, then real communication begins.
So, now what?
There is actually more hope out there than you might imagine. Many families come into therapy to have a therapist help them with dynamics that are manifesting at this moment. Family therapy is a form of psychotherapy that seeks to reduce distress and conflict by improving the systems of interactions between family members. As a family therapist, I am able to help couples seek support to build upon their love and desire to have a happy functioning family.
There is no reason we cannot reach for family therapy, yet this fear instills weakness.
Parents who come to me for support look for encouragement in their parenting techniques, but they are often thwarted by internal dynamics in the family. Additionally, many families express a desire in learning how to:
– provide strength for the parents to instill change within the family
– increase communication skills with children
– resolve conflict from a major trauma
– find opportune times to talk about the family to the family
– understand how words and tone push away family members
These challenges are not so easy to accomplish. It takes courage, commitment, and continual reach for support through your family. All of this can be done as we engage deeper in the process of family therapy. In supporting familes, I listen intently to their story and try to offer supportive, empathy that honors their journey thus far. When families feel supported they have the currage to ask for support when needed. .
I hope to meet you and your family one day.
Son. Husband. Father. Psychotherapist.