Is anger a mask for depression in men?

Have you ever been at that point where you are incredibly furious at a situation, but you have no idea what to do? What about throwing things or yelling when you feel insulted by your partner? Anger and depression are deeply confused and intertwined for men, which becomes hard to separate.

Have you ever experienced any of these symptoms:

– Little interest or pleasure in doing activities?
– Exhausted and very little energy during the day or evening?
– Poor appetite, but sometimes you eat just because?

Possibly what you are experiencing is a mild form of depression. The challenge part for men is we are wired, thinking, “Depression is a woman’s disease.” Well, it is not! I have news for you, most men react in anger to the isolating and confusing feelings, where women have been know to show tears. Equally, men and women show depression differently but suffer the same ailment. Even more so, this can be related to the fear and isolation of being alone.

Anger and depression are masked in many, many different ways.

Most of us have felt some bout of anger at one time or another. Whether someone cuts us off in traffic or the daily frustration from the job or even daily interactions with our family, anger often sneaks up and consumes our emotions and physical being. In men, Anger and depression can go hand in hand. Men often mask their depression symptoms by depressing emotions, but this doesn’t last too long. Give it some time, and the next thing you know, the lid is off, and he is angry and seeing red! Why do men mask this depression, or why does it manifest as anger? More importantly, do men even know if and when they are masking depression? Let’s take a look at three considerations:

– Men are not allowed to show emotions
– Men must be trustworthy, stern individuals who appear to be well adjusted
– Men’s lives are not as equally restricted as women’s

All are false. Men often feel as if they cannot show emotions, possibly because they do not know-how. Maybe some have ever tried. They have been shamed for what they feel. Often, men have such constricted confines placed on them, such as being the head of the house, breadwinner, and supposed to have ‘everything put together,’ They often hide these fears, therefore manifesting as depression or anger symptoms. Men often allow themselves to conform to societal constraints, forcing them to bottle up the anxieties of life, therefore masking as feeling horrible about one’s self or feeling as if he is a failure.

Maybe that anger actually looks like depression now?

It is essential for men to seek out other men, such as a life coach, to help support him in his transitions of discovering how much depression is actually running his life. Once we begin to identify the root of depression, we can begin to work with the external, dramatic release of anger.

Together we can explore what it means to allow other emotions and learn how to accept and incorporate new experiences into our lives.

Is there anything in your life you are depressing?

Want to know a little bit more about how my anger program works? Click here. 

Jeremy R. Allen
Son. Husband. Father. Coach.
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www.jeremyrallen.com
jeremy@jeremyrallen.com